My mind is the prison I can't break free from
Embarking on this selfless journey in the pursuit to feel something I've never felt, something so obscure to even dream about, something that millions before me have fought and died for, something that no man has truly had. We're all bound by it, if our arms and legs were shackled to iron gates we would try to be break free, but what about when our mind is chained down? What would we do then? If it was as easy as is playing a thousand scenarios in my head on repeat every night wondering if I'll ever truly fall asleep. Peacefully. If only the things meant more to me when I was 8 mean anything to me now. If only the endless loops of agonizing atrocities would stop. If only I could ever stop punishing myself for people leaving. The pain inflicted on my mind is way worse than any caused by a physical wound. I wish there was a better way rather than falling into this abyss of my own thoughts, getting lost in the space time continuum for a million years would be better compared ...